:: Forever ::

2011-12-31T14:43:00.003-05:00

i wanna trust God all over again.
even if i don't feel God and understand God's ways.
even if i don't seem to experience God's goodness in my life

because of ....

prov 3:5-6

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight."

and

Isaiah 55:9
"“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts. "

be secure in God.
not afraid to make mistakes/fail or look stupid becoz i know i live for God alone.
and my value in God stays constant.
doesnt rlly matter what people think.

my new year resolutions?
i dont know.

i want 2012 to be a year filled with breakthroughs.

2011-11-23T12:01:00.002-05:00

love it when people offer to pray for me :D
angelina did it today and i felt so loved by her and by God!
God is faithful to both of us and i'm still glad He led me back and now i'm serving again.
whenever i see her i would be reminded of my backsliding past and remember that God changes hearts (:

sometimes i get confused by what i want too,
but i think whats most most impt is knowing that i want God the most (and living this out),
zhe yang jiu ke yi le.

thoughts are abit disorganised,
but anyhows,
thankful for friends (keith and sam) who watched "you are the apple of my eye with me" when in actual fact,
i think i was the only one who was truly excited over it.
late timing somemore.. :')

thankful that God brought me through my paper,
giving me lots of ideas along the way and have enough time to do!!
super thank God.

thank God for helping me shepherd sually today too.
before i met her i felt that i was gonna die
as in super tired until cannot concentrate,
but he gave me strength when i met her, and energised me!

okay wo yao shui jiao le. :D

2011-11-15T10:18:00.003-05:00

chanced upon this video and it touched me deeply.

a pastor who faked cancer in order to cover up for his physical torment he experienced from being addicted to pornography.

u know as i was watching this interview of him revealing the truth in tears,
i wondered what God was feeling/thinking as He saw him devising plans to lie and get away with cancer.

God must have grieved over his sin and the unwillingness to come clean with it...

but i believe God rejoiced over his repentance :D

I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. - luke 15:7

and it's heartwarming to see how the people of the church decided to forgive him even though it was a big lie.

and the last line he said, "from now on, i will tell the truth" yeahhh. what really matters is that he repented!

just reminds me of how good God is.

no matter how "major" our sin is,
he wipes away our ugly past and gives us a new life as along as we r willing to repent and follow him once again.

2011-11-13T12:19:00.004-05:00

choices choices..
many choices that i have made in the past few months...
sometimes i do feel i've made the wrong choices.

the main reason is always insecurity.

not good enough.cant seem to improve.many things that i dont know how to deal with.

sometimes i feel lost.
sometimes i feel afraid that people will judge me.

but i dun wanna let all these thoughts diminish the value of the choices i made.
so what if there are a lot of things i dunno yet,
i will learn.
i will depend on God.
i will improve.

so what if people judge me,
this is an issue between them and God,
i just need to please God.
live for the audience of one :D

dont look back and think about how my life could have been if i hadn't made the choice
i wanna focus on how i can grow and improve so that i can "live up to" the choices that i've made.

and i know i will be fine becoz i'm counting on God! not on myself ^^

2011-10-25T11:45:00.001-04:00

my dream as of today.

to have a family prayer meet,
with my dad leading the prayers.

i may not see how this can materialise now.
but i know,

nothing is impossible with God.

2011-10-13T12:45:00.003-04:00

turn your eyes upon Jesus
look full in His wonderful face
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glory and grace

many things i learnt and discovered recently
from people, situations, mistakes and ministry.

actually many things to worry about (if i choose to worry)
about studies, about relationships, about ministry,

about whether i can cope
whether i can do well in my studies
whether i can reconcile
whether i can work with certain people
whether people will judge me
whether i can sing properly on stage
whether i can shepherd my sheep properly.
whether i can lead my people well.
whether people will like me
whether my (currently) second-lower honours can bring me to a gd career

just a lot a lot of things that go through my mind everything

i wanna choose NOT to meditate on my worries, but CHOOSE to meditate on God's word.

Eph 3:20 "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"

i really pray that things of the world will grow strangely dim in my eyes.
i will zoom out on my weaknesses, my not-so-desirable circumstances and zoom in on God's goodness in my life.
his soverignty. his love and grace for me.

amen.

goodnight world!

2011-10-02T12:24:00.001-04:00

It's so easy

It's so easy to convince myself
that I have arrived.
It's so easy to swindle myself into believing
that I am righteous.
It's so easy to calm my conscience
by recasting my own history.
It's so easy to make myself feel better
by measuring myself by somebody else.
It's so easy to persuade myself
that my way is the best way.
It's so easy to think
that I'm serving You when I'm really serving me.
It's so easy to judge others
who fail to do what I'm not doing either.
It's so easy to daily hunt
for what I've already been given in Christ.
It's so easy to be more concerned
about the sin of someone else than I am my own.
It's so easy to withhold grace
while I am being showered with grace.
It's so easy to think
that I know more than I know.
It's so easy to fretfully forget
that you are ever with me.
It's so easy to love the world
more than I have loved You.
It's so easy to enthrone myself
in the center of my world.
It's so easy to view myself as poor
when grace has made me rich.
It's so easy to talk myself into feeling okay
about what You say is wrong.
It's so easy to forget
how fundamentally needy I am.
Because these things are so
Natural
Instinctive
Frequent
Common
Normal
Spontaneous
Easy.
There is not a
Situation
Location
Relationship
Circumstance
Moment
where I am free of needing You.
I live in constant need of
the rescue of your grace.
I am so thankful
that your grace is never stronger
than in those moments of
weakness when dangerous things
are all too easy.

- http://bclrwomen.blogspot.com

2011-09-28T13:14:00.004-04:00

LI NAN XING'S TESTIMONY!!! (pls watch!! at least watch the second video, it's powerfulmax!!)

he talked about how God brought him out of his debts, how God shows that He's with him - when he was filming, even before he accepted Christ

although his lifestyle was filled with bad habits - 2 bottles of liquor and 3 packets of cigarettes per day,
he repented and God preserved his physical body.
his liver and lungs are fine!

by God's grace, seriously...

i'm sincerely happy to see his life being changed by God,
he no longer drinks or smokes,
he overcame temptations with God,
I KNOW MY FATHER CAN TOOOOOO

can see his passion and conviction when he shares his testimony
when he recites verses and all.
just so much joy in him ((:
he used to avoid sharing this area of his life,
but he decided to share simply becoz he wants to be a witness for God

woah,
i'm just in awe of God.

HOW CAN GOD BE SO GOOD TO US WHEN WE DUN DESERVE IT AT ALL!?!

was just feeeling rather insecure over everything,
particularly over studies,
but after watching this, God really refreshed me.
He loves, He cares and He holds my future
as long as i choose to obey and walk right with him, He will help me overcome all the obstacles/difficulties, in other words, HE will make a way.

remember the what, and leave the how to him (:

hahahah was reminded of what gwen told me while praying for me during ulm..
she shared "perfect love drives out fear"
i'm experiencing this now.
when i truly understand and experience God's love for me,
i have nothing to fear eg. fear of not getting good results, good job
because i know that he loves me enough to provide for my needs.

and i dont have to worry about what i do not have,
becoz
what he chooses not to give me are prolly things that he knows i dont need, trusting that God has my best interests in mind.
ultimately,
what i really need is more of God.

YESYESYESYES, super convicted!
i can go to sleep smiling!

gonna be a long day tmr :D but i know i will enjoy it!!
spending it with aweeesome people in my life!

2011-09-20T12:42:00.002-04:00

first verse that i flipped to is the verse that i intended to find :D

Proverbs 5:23 "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life."

i will always remember that
God says, "hold my hand" (:
(OMG i randomly flipped to the page with Isaiah 41:13, after i typed hold my hand!!! GOD IS SO COOLLL)

2011-09-13T12:27:00.002-04:00

Romans 12:9

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honour one another above yourselves.

God,
show me how to devote myself to loving people like how you love.
and always put their interests first.

i know how sinful i can be.
so Lord,
help me guard my heart.

i know nobody/nothing can satisfy me like how God does.
i must learn to be contented in Christ.

I need you more and more each day,
I don't want to go back to my old life.

one conviction i got today.
i wanna honour my future spouse by protecting my purity
be blameless in whatever i do or say, in alllll areas of my life.
and i must strive to protect the purity of my brothers-in-christ too.

to whoever you may be,
i pray that you're pursuing Christ above anyone else too!

2011-08-24T13:57:00.004-04:00

(in a very thankful mode now. HAHAHAH) i have 2 groups of friends that i wanna thank God for..

LITTLE INDIA PALS
i'm really really thankful that God placed me Sandy and Fenghui in the same area and in the same ministry, allowing us to spend more time with one another and giving us more opportunities to hang outzxz
really got to know them so much more through the meet ups here and there!
and i thank God for the times when i can just go to their houses to slack and watch tv. HAHAAHHAHA primarily the 9 pm show!! enjoyed the time when we had stayover at feng's house after watching world cup, memorable experience. hehehehe. thankful that my lg members stay so near me ^^
but... sad that sandy's moving and feng's gg koreaaaaaaa :(
oh wellls. i will still treasure them as my pals!!

FARRER PARK GANG!
hahaha with Keith Samantha and my sis! i'm already quite close to my sis so i wanna take time to thank God for keith and sam. i think it's God's grace that we kinda managed to build the friendships through bbm and random meetups/studying sessions although we are all in different districts. what i appreciate about these friendships is that they are not superficial. we share lives (struggles,problems, testimonies etc) and really help and encourage one another in our walk with God, sharpening one another. and i believe it's this God-centred element that will keep the friendships going!!

and today i got to know the unit a lot more..need God's wisdom to deal with issues, but one step at a time! God will help me! =)

2011-08-03T12:54:00.002-04:00

所需要的力量你天天赐给我，你恩典够我用

a simple song on prayer =)

2011-08-01T13:19:00.000-04:00

"if God says i can, i can" (:

2011-07-27T12:57:00.003-04:00

i want to be a lifelong learner.

about life.
about the world.
about people.

most importantly,
about God and about his word.

actually the truth is,
i can never learn/know enough,
what i need to do is to have the attitude of learning.

if i'm humble enough,
God can use many things/people to teach me many many values/principles/knowledge.

not learn for the sake of learning
but learn so i can be used by God more effectively to make a difference in the world (:

lets do everything with Jesussss! :D

2011-07-18T13:01:00.001-04:00

times when God speaks hard truth into my life.

okay
i am imperfect,
but i want to grow yo.

i dont want to show favouritism anymore!!!

spirit touch your church

2011-07-12T12:22:00.004-04:00

wah it's quite cool to know that my lg is singing spirit touch your church for worship this week
sang it during lglm, joane's lg used this song too.

perhaps God really wants to touch our church.
that we will not grow to be an inward looking church.
we will be the church that has the heartbeat of Jesus.
one that loves people.
believers and non-believers.
and does our best to reach out.

many things happened at home,
i told my mum i sincerely think our family needs more of God's presence.
she kinda agreed.

okay she just asked me to pray more for the family...

i dont just wanna lead a life of integrity,
i want to be intentional in leading my family to God.

no matter how hardened ur hearts are,
i know love breaks down all barriers.

thankful for the extra hour of sleep tmr <3
thank you Jesus!

2011-06-22T13:30:00.005-04:00

God's blessings dont always come in the forms that we expect them to.
many times before we start complaining about God, we should examine our lives.

have we been giving God our best?
in not just our ministry, but also in our studies, family etc.

we reap what we sow, we reap the consequences of unwise decisions.

the parable of the lost son reminds me of God's grace.
we shouldn't be like the older son,
who gets jealous over the brother who repented and received God's grace.

who are we to dictate/limit how God should work in the lives of other people?
even for those who have already left church.

bottom line is..
i love God becoz God loves me.
This is why i serve him with my all.
i appreciate whatever he gives me and i dont want to compare with other christians who seem to receive more. or backsliders/non-christians/non-committed christians who don't seem to "deserve" the blessings
the end is not the rewards,
but it's a closer relationship with Jesus.

i want to remember and live by this conviction forever and ever.

enjoyed LGL retreat today :D
thank you God for speaking to me!

2011-06-20T13:24:00.001-04:00

Since God made us to be originals,
why stoop to be a copy?

- from harvester4christ.tumblr.com

2011-06-12T13:54:00.002-04:00

small little things that remind me of God's goodness.

i pray that i will always remember that God is with me all the time.
and he meets my needs :D

was reminded of how God brought me through my exchange in Canada.
i want to continue to stretch my faith.
and attempt things that i know cant be done with my own strength

2011-06-08T11:58:00.004-04:00

went for choir camp today and i was so sure that i wanted to be in time for worship at 10..
but guess what... i reached at 11?
HAAHHA.

i tried my best to follow every single bit of daixuan's instructions,
in the end i still took the bus from the wrong direction.

went to punggol and had to take a bus back to pasir ris.

felt frustrated with myself for not thinking properly,
and wasting money becoz i have no bus concession (adult fare not cheap!)

wanted to wait for alexis but she off-ed her phone.
so i decided to attempt to go there by myself.
and take the bus AGAIN.
so it was quite a stressful bus taking experience.

then..
i needed to change bus and WALK to another BUS STOP.
so while i was walking to the second bus stop(which was quite far away).
GUESS WHAT
i saw jontay's car drive past me.
thanks to the red tissue box and the car plate number. hahaha.
jontay called and offered to u-turn and drive me to the choir chalet.
coz he was driving yuhan to the chalet anyway.

AT THAT PT IN TIME.
i felt so loved by God.

yes, things didnt turn out well in the morning.
took the wrong bus
wasted money and time
had to walk a lot more for nothing.
didn't help when i woke up SO EARLY.

but when i was down and out,
God sent him to brighten up my day!
i really believe he's God-sent loh..
becoz it's too much of a coincidence! HAHAHHAHA

thanks to him, i didnt have to take bus, and be worried about taking the wrong bus or missing the stop again!
HAHAHAHHA.

Thank you God & jontay!!!:D

and i'm determined not to judge God's character through my circumstances.
he's faithful no matter what. HAHAHA.

2011-06-07T13:55:00.004-04:00

prayer is powerful

a prayer-less Christian is a power-less Christian.

an excerpt from the book, "Running on empty"

"my dad made his kids' sixteenth birthdays something special.
my two older sis and i were each officially recognised by my dad on our 16th bdays as adults. the blessing i received n that day ffrom my dad still sustains me today.

Dad died 21 days before my younger bro's 16th bday, the one who has the strongest will.
Adam wanted to be a man, but was still making childish decisions. Dad was patiently and lovingly shaping and redirecting Adam's will into a blessing, rather than a curse.

In the days after Dad's death, Adam repeatedly said to my mom, "Dad wont ever see me as a man. His last memories will always be of me causing him trouble." Mom prayed.

As Adam's 16th birthday appraoched, he became more and more withdrawn and angry. Adam was gonna too live his entire life without the "blessing" of his father. Mum prayed that God would do something to resolve this issue in Adam's life.

My dad was a preacher and bible college professor when he died.the day before his funeral, Mom called home to the college campus and asked one of Dad's colleagues to look in his office files for an insurance document..

she searched in vain, in the midst of the hundred of books, she noticed one book in particular - a book Dad had recently recommended.

She glanced through the book titled She instantly recognised the significance of the book and handed the treasure to Mom.

Mom wrapped the book. Several days later on his 16th birthday, Adam opened the gift and read the message written by his father:

"To Adam, on ur 16th birthday, I like the man I see when i look at you. Love, Dad."

Mom's prayer was answered and my bro's question was answered once and for all time

God is amazing.
With all of the stuff he has to deal with in the world, he stil took time to make sure a 16 year old boy received the "blessing" from his father..."

i teared when i read the father's msg (which was totally unexpected.)
i guess i was just very touched by the dad's message.
a msg of acceptance and unconditional love.
he may not be the most obedient child, but he loves him for who he is. and uses words to build him up.
i know .
i'm prolly desiring for the same kind of (expression of ) love from my dad.

at times i wish i could tell you that,
i don't need you to do many things for me.

sometimes words of love and acceptance are more than enough.

2011-06-02T12:32:00.004-04:00

one of my fave songs

something i learnt from wfl.

Job's greatest blessing is not the material possessions that God gave,
but it's his encounter with God, and enjoyment of intimacy with God.

sometimes spiritual can be spectacular. but the deeply spiritual are not necessarily spectacular.
God often speaks in a small still voice.

i admit that it isnt very easy for me to see things from a theocentric approach.
but i rlly wanna learn.

someone spiritual is not necessarily knowledgeable,
s/he just needs to be humble enough to apply whatever s/he knows.

2011-05-26T13:20:00.003-04:00

HAVE I TOLD YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE MY LG? :D:D

had so much fun with them today.

we went to jurong central park today.

we didn't fly kite
we didn't play frisbee/sports or whatever
we just celebrated BIRTHDAYS!!!
for changjie yijia and zhiying (:(:..
TALKED n ATE n AFFIRMED n PRAYED n SHARED LIVES

i was actually very tired before i met my people,
but aftr talking to them i felt so refreshed!

i rlly like how we just share our lives readily and openly.
welll.. not EVERYONE shared A LOT.
but definitely MORE people shared MORE.
and they dun need prompting.

i rlly see how fellowship (like real fellowship) comes more and more naturally to our group.

yay
although i dropped the cake while walking towards them. (total phail! first time that it ever happened to me man!)

JCNA4!!!!

missing: shimin, edwin, kahyan, brenda, natalie!

anw
thank you Lord for letting mummy be interested in christianity and in my lg.
giving me the chance to explain to her how we do lgs.
and how we celebrate birthdays
thank you for using me to explain to her what it means to be a christian...

YOU ROCK!! :D:D

2011-05-24T21:55:00.001-04:00

matt 6:33

Lord,
i don't wanna worry.
i wanna make a decision to live in the present and not worry about the future.

received a job offer to be a telemarketer.
okays i think i will just do it since this is what is given after pursuing other jobs for so long.
i think God just closed other doors :(

okayssss.
telemarketer it shall be!!!!

2011-05-21T12:53:00.003-04:00

faith is not simply believing in God, but it's living your life like you do.

had service today.
as usual..
a thought that i just had during praise and worship.
i couldn't hear my voice at all when i was singing to God...

actually it doesn't matter.
whether i hear myself or other pple hear me.
even if no one hears,
God hears.
and he knows :D
in the same way,
i don't have to make myself "heard" or "visible" when i serve God.
just do my best,
faithful.
God sees and that's all it matters :D

and there are times..
even when u seeem "spiritual"
seems that i'm doing the right stuff and people may view me as spiritual
but it doesn't rlly matter what they think
God's approval is what i rlly need.
if God knows that whatever i've been doing is not sincere, out of selfish interest, not out of love.
so what if i have people's approval but not God's approval.

i'm missssing the point!!!!!

wah God,
help me fix my eyes on you.

have been meeting up with people
and i rlly enjoy it.
today's sermon was a good reminder.

NOT love God and need people
but NEED GOD AND LOVE PEOPLE.

so different..

2011-05-18T12:42:00.003-04:00

we can never be "neutral" about God,
cant be lukewarm christian

matthew 12:30 "Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters."

we dun need to intentionally commit evil in order to be against God,
we just need to be apathetic.

if we're not following God wholeheartedly,
we are against God.

reminder to self: follow God WHOLEHEARTEDLY. 100% of my everything.

i'm rllly a very relational person.
i enjoy asking people out and just chill-laxing with people who matter to me.

people make my day <3 not activities or things or achievements.

thank you God for giving me great friends! people who can give me advice when i need it (:

2011-05-15T00:10:00.000-04:00

Following Christ has two requirements:
Believing, and acting like you do.

true...

tomorrow is gonna be a great day! meeting up with emelia after so long!
hope buona vista duck rice with adria and jontay works out tmr.
and celebrating joel's birthday at night!

i wanna learn to praise God in every season of my life.
i wanna learn to trust God to help me in my weaknesses.
and claim the verse..

God's grace is sufficient for me. his power is made perfect in my weakness.

it's been long since i felt so...
worried over ministry.

haaha i give it to you, God.

i dun want to be scared to make mistakes.
stop worrying and give my best to plan and learn.
i'm sure you will help me.

HAHAHHA

2011-05-10T12:36:00.002-04:00

"God doesn’t expect you to be perfect, just surrendered"
-Perry Noble.

let my actions speak louder than words.

talking to your tears

2011-05-04T12:29:00.002-04:00

Talking to Your Tears (from http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/taste-see-articles/talking-to-your-tears)

Psalm 126:5-6

May those who sow in tears
reap with shouts of joy!
He that goes forth weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
bringing his sheaves with him.

There is nothing sad about sowing seed. It takes no more work than reaping. The days can be beautiful. There can be great hope of harvest. Yet the psalm speaks of “sowing in tears.” It says that someone “goes forth weeping, bearing the seed for sowing.” So why are they weeping?

I think the reason is not that sowing is sad, or that sowing is hard. I think the reason has nothing to do with sowing. Sowing is simply the work that has to be done even when there are things in life that make us cry. The crops won’t wait while we finish our grief or solve all our problems. If we are going to eat next winter we must get out in the field and sow the seed whether we are crying or not.

This psalm teaches the tough truth that there is work to be done whether I am emotionally up for it or not; and it is good for me to do it. Suppose you are in a blue funk and it is time to sow seed. Do you say, “I can’t sow the field this spring, because I am in a blue funk.” If you do that you will not eat in the winter.

But suppose you say, “I am in a blue funk. I cry if the milk runs out at breakfast. I cry if the phone and doorbell ring at the same time. I cry for no reason at all. But the field needs to be sowed. That is the way life is. I do not feel like it, but I will take my bag of seeds and go out in the fields and do my crying while I do my duty. I will sow in tears.”

If you do that, the promise of the psalm is that “you will reap with shouts of joy.” You will “come home with shouts of joy, bringing your sheaves with you.” Not because the tears of sowing produce the joy of reaping, but because the sheer sowing produces the reaping, and you need to remember this even when your tears tempt you to give up sowing.

So here’s the lesson: When there are simple, straightforward jobs to be done, and you are full of sadness, and tears are flowing easily, go ahead and do the jobs with tears. Be realistic. Say to your tears: ‘Tears, I feel you. You make me want to quit life. But there is a field to be sown (dishes to be washed, car to be fixed, sermon to be written). I know you will wet my face several times today, but I have work to do and you will just have to go with me. I intend to take the bag of seeds and sow. If you come along then you will just have to wet the rows.”

Then say, on the basis of God’s word, ‘Tears, I know that you will not stay forever. The very fact that I just do my work (tears and all) will in the end bring a harvest of blessing. So go ahead and flow if you must. But I believe (I do not yet see it or feel it fully)—I believe that the simple work of my sowing will bring sheaves of harvest. And your tears will be turned to joy.”

Learning to sow steadfastly,

Pastor John

Psalm 125:5...

sow in tears and reap with joy (:

don't remember reading this verse before,
but yes really strengthens my conviction that we cannot live according to how we feel (:

2011-05-03T12:23:00.003-04:00

words of wisdom from my study bible...

"planning for tomorrow is time well spent; worrying about tomorrow is time wasted. But...Don't let your plans interfere with your relationship with God. Don't let worries about tomorrow affect your relationship with God."

TRUST <3

God tested me so much today
but i thank God for helping me depend on him
when all else fails, i know i still have God in my life.
and thats when i truly know in my head and in my heart,
that He's in control,
and as long as i let him be in control of my life,
everything will work out for my good.

yes i panicked when i realised my textbook and some of my notes went missing.
i borrowed my classmate's notes and tried to cram one chapter of stuff into my brain in 1/2 hr..
it felt terrible, but at least i tried. HAHAHA

and super thank God for the prayers by nus peeps.
i felt touched when joel called to ask me to meet them for the prayer meet.
if it's on any other exam day, i would have treated it as any other prayer meet(and not much feelings towards it).(and perhaps take it for granted. which is not good!)
but today, i can say i really treasured this prayer meet, coz it felt like it was God using people to show that he really cares for me (:
prolly becoz i knew i really needed God for this exam. hahaa.

thank you guys! i dun really know all of you(i only know joel, edwin and ding chuen i think .hehehe) , but thank you for the effort :D

i cant say i knew all the answers.
the truth is, i forgot some stuff.

but i know i did it with God.
and this is all that really matters.

and..good job maisie, natalie and brenda (:
never regretted going down(:
shine for God!!

2011-04-28T13:31:00.002-04:00

"Put relationships at the top of your to-do list: I wrote this in The Purpose Driven Life and I still believe it: “The greatest use of time is love and the greatest expression of love is time and the greatest time to love is now.” When you choose relationships — particularly with your family — over tasks, your teaching this lesson better than any sermon ever could. The bottom line is this — years from now, people won’t remember your sermon. They’ll remember that you put others first."

-Rick Warren

i want to choose relationships,
haha when i heard about how zhiying set aside a day just to bring her mum out,
it made me want to do the same too (:

shall do that soon!

2011-04-27T12:04:00.004-04:00

i think my relationship with my dad finally had a breakthrough!
told him my raw thoughts about everything
what i believe in
why i come to church. etcetc

and he actually took the initiative to call me after reading my email
so touched when he attempted to share his life with me.
and rlly tried to tell me what he thinks.

"i'm man of few words, but i'm open to communication"

i <3 my earthly and heavenly fathers! (:

i like this song (:
esp the part
"if we could see how much You're worth,
your power, your might, your endless love
then surely we would never cease to praise"

so true eh.
i'm rlly convicted by this.
if everyone realises how much God loves us
how worthy God is in our lives,
we would definitely be living a life that is pleasing to God.

sometimes christians don't
because they just don't see how good God is, and how much they need him in our lives.
and this is sad.
when they are apathetic towards God.
nooooooo......

anw
i heard a very nice korean song in mos burger,
but i forgot how it sounds like alr! i hope i hear it again because i really want to know the song!

and i think i'm a rlllly sensitive person.
die liao.
too sensitive not good :(

2011-04-26T12:00:00.002-04:00

the more i talk to people
the more i notice about myself.

it's times like these when i know my security is not exactly in God.

but thats when i also know i need God's grace in my life.

thats when i really thank God for his unconditional love.
if he's someone who loves selectively, based on how good i am
i'm screwed.
hahahaha

but thank God he's not like that! HEHEHEHE

i think i'm prolly scared to talk to you too.
prolly why i didn't rlly share my life with you.

2011-04-18T12:03:00.002-04:00

yesssh.

i'm slightly stressed.
becoz of my exams
a part of me is stressed becoz i dun think i have time to study one day before my exams..

but i dont want to worry about tmr (in this case sat)
God will give me more than enough to cope with whatever that come!

thank God for time spent with good friend today :D

gonna slp!

2011-04-15T12:46:00.004-04:00

"many people are unfaithful. Though they do not openly reject God, they live as if he does not exist"

i want to live with the recognition that God exists and he sees my heart.

Lord,
help me have walk right, think right, live right with you..
reverentfearofGod

thank God for the meet up with szehui today (: i think it's cool how we can share so deep about our lives even though we dun talk/meet up often. thank you sister for being such a great blessing in my life!

JIAYOU WENMIN for ur 2nd soccer match in ur life!!!!!! dont give up!! keep going!!

shepherding with grace was cool too. we just talked and talked for 2 hours! ahahaaha

yay lets grow together!!

2011-04-08T11:53:00.003-04:00

had 4 hrs long project meeting today, plus near 1 hour of lunch with the group.
saw them for 5 hrs straight. hahaha. really really thank God for very good project group mates.
for my lab and for my children abnormal psych. hahaha and i laughed so hard today!!

first incident...(convo with feng)

limin says:
so today we had project meeting.
my friend (jas) and i do one part.
then my 3 other group mates do another part.
then we were using different computers. quite far apart.

then jas n i finished our part before them
nothing to do.
so we decided to google about raymond lam's scandal (jas is a fellow raymond lam fan!)
LOLL
then walao
the ex gf like porn star like that.
all the photos she posted abit sick
HAHAHA
then we were just reading the news article. got a lot of gross photos lah
then suddenly my friend from the other com came and asked us something.
HAHAHA
IT WAS SO FUNNY coz she saw us looking at such "photos" HAHHAHHAHAHAH.

Fenghui says:
HAHHAHAAH
THEN THINK WHAT YOU GUYS DOING
lessies

limin says:
wah for that split moment jas and i felt... SHAMEFUL
LOL

Fenghui says:
lol

limin says:
then she quickly explain
HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHA
it was quite funny
LOL

Fenghui says:
i will just continue actig
LOLOL

limin says:
i think my friend was quite disturbed
LOLLL
like we are not even guys

the next thing is what God taught me today. (convo with sam)

limin:
coz we had proj meeting.
then it's presentation
we did powerpoint togeher.
then someone still gonna edit the slides and find a layout and stuff right.
nobody said anything when my friend asked who wanna do it.
then my friend.her name is rena.. say she can do it.
then we immediately gave it to her.
actually at that pt in time. i was thinking. i'm free lah.. i got time to do. but i rlly dun like to do the powerpoint stuff. hahahaha. so i kept silent.
coz rena actually has 3 assignments due today, so it's very straining for her.
but she still volunteered.
then after the meeting.
the more i think the more guilty i felt.
so i suggested to the rest that w choose another prson to do

wah i think God rlly wanna test me
ahahhaha
then my friend used his iphone.. the randomiser app.
then i got chosen!!!
OMG it's supposed to be random

then we told the girl
she's rlly very nice.
she say like she can do coz her weekend veryfree.
hahahaa
like she rlly wanna do
so i say.. i edit intro, she edit discussion HAHAHHA
coz if not she rlly do alot of work!

SaMaNtHa: hahahhaha

limin: this is trullyyyy getting out of my comfort zone man

SaMaNtHa: so its good to listen to God cause even when you think that you will do a lot of work not u do less that wt u expected la!!

limin: hahaha yeah yeah
but i rlly struggled man
LOL
like really
who doesnt want to slack
and if someone is willing to do more work, oviously the carnal nature is to SLACK

and i realised.

how easy it is for me to want affirmation from other people when we do this kinda thing. (how i keep telling them i'm the best project group mate they can ever find. HAHA JOKINGLY)

when affirmation from God is all that i need.
so need to guard our hearts

SaMaNtHa: yea
it is easy to think that affirmation from other ppl is more important than God;s
i feel like sometimes it is very easy for us to do things for others n forgot that God is the most important person and we should only do things according to his will

limin: sometimes u think that it's only worth it if other pple see it

basically the highlighted parts are the stuff that i learnt today. thanks sam for building me up and feng for chatting with me. HEHEHEHEH

all for God, babeh!

OH YES. max's iphone 3 is cursed.. haahahahaha

and i love jasmin (not jasmine) <3
thanks for being my healthlab/emotions/bus 10 buddy!!
fellow raymond lam fan too. we shall love raymond lam still. LOL

2011-04-05T12:05:00.001-04:00

因为幸福没有捷径只有经营 !!!

2011-04-02T12:00:00.002-04:00

"Serving and loving one another, prioritizing our time, and not feeling guilty when we can't meet every need."

"don't just be nice, do something that would impact or change his/her life"

"freshness comes from God"

learning new stuff everyday!

i wanna be an encourager to other people.
giving people chances like how God would give.
let mistrust (instead of trust) be earned when it comes to the church.
look beyond the flaws and see the potential..

as much as i wanna see the best in people,
God reminded me that it's important to believe in myself too.
I am also loved by God,
i can also be empowered by God to achieve great things.

words can build people up or tear people down.
why isit that i say words to build people up,
but often say words to tear myself down?
i realised when my mum often tells me that i tend to say "inauspicious stuff"
i reflected and realised i rlly have low confidence in a lot of things.
so i tend to "curse" myself.
but i rlly wanna change the way i talk (to myself in particular)

i wanna choose to hope in God.
trusting that even if no one sees the worth in me,
God does.
even if no one believes in me,
God does.
even if no one encourages me,
God does.
even if no one sees my potential,
God does.

i guess God is slowly teaching me what it means to be secure in him,
thank you God!

2011-03-31T13:03:00.005-04:00

"girls are always looking for security, if they don't find it in God, they will find it in the wrong places. guys are always looking for ambition, if they don't find it in God, they will also find it in the wrong places"

important to find my security in God,(and not in guys!!!)
so so important.

2011-03-28T12:18:00.002-04:00

"reply like how u would want other people to reply you"

somehow i feel like this is what God has been trying to tell me.

i'm very tired,
a long day tmr! :D cyaaaa.

2011-03-27T12:07:00.002-04:00

a timely reminder (:

If no one else sees or cares, God does. And that is all that matters.

anw.. this article from straitstimes.com caught my eye!!!

New Pek Kio CC, primary school to share facilities

RESIDENTS of Pek Kio estate will soon have a new community centre built next to Farrer Park Primary School, a co-location aimed at the sharing of facilities.

The school's badminton courts and indoor sports hall will be open to residents after school hours. In return, pupils will be able to use the new community centre's dance studios and music rooms, among other things.

The pilot project aims to maximise usage of these facilities.

Announcing the news after a walkabout at Pek Kio Market and Food Centre on Sunday, Mr Lui Tuck Yew, Minister for Information, Communications and the Arts and MP for the Moulmein ward in the current Tanjong Pagar GRC, said the centre will be ready by early 2013.

Asked by reporters if the project was meant as an electoral carrot, Minister for the Environment and Water Resources Yaacob Ibrahim, who was also present at the event, said it had nothing to do with the upcoming election.

'We do this because we have to see to the long-term needs of the residents,' he said.

wooots, pek kio rocks! more facilities!!

2011-03-25T02:42:00.002-04:00

i am bored.
LOL

i'm supposed to be busy doing powerpoint and all other random stuff.
hahah.

i realised people like to ask this ques, "how are you?" or "how are you doing"
you know i really dunno how to answer this kinda question.hahahah.
like which aspect of my life should i talk about?
or should i say okay?

i'm fine..?

i wanna slp but i can't coz there's some guy fixing my toilet ceiling. and i'm the only one at home nowwwww...

hahah oh yeah.i prolly wont ask anyone that question anymore.
unless i'm really not close to the person and i have nothing else to talk about!~!

2011-03-18T08:30:00.002-04:00

today.
i'm very very very very very sure...
i don't like any guy now!

YAYYY

i love my friends!

2011-03-17T13:07:00.003-04:00

very grateful to God today :D

unit lg was great, i really enjoyed playing with my unit.. worshipping and praying together with them (:

hahaha i am very thankful for a few friendships in my life.

besides those in my unit/lg/sheep pen :D
i wanna thank God for xiangyu, jinger,xingyi,jontay and hsiaoensssss!!

so random, but through God's grace, i managed to build strong friendships with them.

and i really wanna thank God for the meetup with xiang today.
we could have missed each other at farrer park today (easily)
but we didn't!
even though we cancelled our meetup initially, God still made a way :D
i was genuinely glad to meet and catch up with her, considering how busy we are. and.. we were never in the same unit/lg! really God's grace man!

i thank God for the every monday lecture with jinger :D
that i'm able to know so much more about her life
being sucha great encouragement to me.

thank God for whatsapp & skype!
that i'm able to keep in touch with ens even though she like so far away from me! thank you for always being so spiritual.ahhaha inspiring man!

thank God for xingyi,
who always makes effort to meet up with me and know more about my life.
i'm sorry if i havent exactly been a great friend to u for the past few days (not picking ur calls and stuff), i thank you for listening to me and giving me advice although i know u're struggling with a lot of things too :D

zixin reminded me during shepherding abt how jt believed in me. and told me to go north. ahhha reminded me of the time when my level of friendship with jt was so different then.
haha.
thank you for being one of the best sch church friends in my life. although u always suan me and make me angry, i know God is using u to grow me in my love and patience too. WAHHA. okay.but yay thank God for u philo buddy & soci king..always so willing to share about ur life, it means a lot!

the reason why i choose to share about these friendships is because i think these are the friendships which are really not bounded by structure,
there are no obligations to meet, catch up or whatever,
so it's purely out of brotherly&sisterly love we have for one another.
thank you God and my dear friends!!!

of coz i'm not saying my other friendships are not as impt, but there are too many of them!! cant share all of them!u know who u are (:

lets keep these friendships going!!! <3

2011-03-15T11:46:00.003-04:00

learnt so much from this website..
a lot of things that i wanna copy and paste.figured that maybe i should just take a screenshot.

please explore the website! (for girls esp) it's mindblowing (:

my faith cannot be based on emotions and circumstances..
so true.

2011-03-12T11:51:00.002-05:00

"Often people avoid God because they see evldoers in the world and hypocrites in the church. They don't realise that because God is slow to anger, he gives his true followers time to share his love and truth with evildoers."

"When people wonder why God doesn't punish evil immediately, help them remember if they did, none of us would be here. We can all be thankful that God gives people time to turn to him."

God,
yesh i'm thankful :D
really thankful i have u in my life.
now i wanna do whatever i can to help people see how great u are. and how much u love them :D
use me God.

2011-03-11T11:19:00.001-05:00

i need you moreeeeee.

coz i never want to go back to my old life

2011-03-07T10:44:00.001-05:00

wanna apply this in my life!

"When I’m listening to a friend, I need to remind myself to focus on him, not to begin wondering how I look, what he thinks of me, what I should say next. Let’s put others first by listening in rapt attention, concentrating on the one in front of us, forgetting ourselves."

made a hugeeee mistake of remembering my test date wrongly.
but it's okay.
at least i know i'm not that busy now!
praise God!

2011-03-05T12:02:00.002-05:00

even if it's not 100% of my time.

i wanna use my 5% to the fullest.

it's not an excuse!!

break my heart for what breaks yours.

2011-03-01T12:10:00.002-05:00

i like this story...

“The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, un-inhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

“Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

“One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt that the worst had happened and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief and anger. He cried out, ‘God! How could you do this to me?’

“Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him!

"‘How did you know I was here?’ asked the weary man of his rescuers.

" ‘We saw your smoke signal,’ they replied.”*

Sometimes it’s hard to see God’s hand at work in your life. He may seem hidden, far away, or totally out of reach, yet nothing could be farther from the truth! Your tender Savior is always watching over you, and always at work behind the scenes. As you pass through the waters and look back, you’ll see the way He worked on your behalf. Remember, although you can’t see His hand, you can trust His heart.

i wanna trust God with all my heart.
my favourite verse, Proverbs 3:5-6!

2011-02-26T14:12:00.002-05:00

God is good :D

i got to hang out with my family and the jcnorth lgls.

received an email from tiff.

and i was really touched by her willingness to share her life with me.

i can feel her sincerity in wanting to grow this friendship (:

and thank you matthias.

i don't think u will ever read this.

but i have to admit i didn't rlly have a very good impression of u before

i'm sorry for judging u at times

but somehow u really showed me what it means to love out of your comfort zone.

thank you leaderrr!! keep on going and set a great example for your people!

simple things like these make me smile (:

i love these people. (:(:

2011-02-19T11:30:00.002-05:00

love.

learnt about tough love today.

so relevant in my life now.

i know God wants me to apply..

ahh God.

i need lots of courage

and lots of love.

and security in you.

2011-02-15T11:27:00.002-05:00

many things that happened recently made me understand more about myself.

evident that i'm really a people person.

i love spending time with people

i feel bad for leaving people alone.

so i would do my best to keep them company until their next appointment comes.

i make new friends easily,

hahaha

it's cool how i got to know a tutorial mate just by bumping into him in the train & city square mall.

i feel bad blocking people on msn (yes it's true. the last time i ever blocked someone was so long ago)

debbie told me..

being a people person is a gift.

but

it can be dangerous

i tend to be people pleaser too

and yesh

i hate to correct people,

becoz i dont want to have tension with anyone.

"i don't know how.." isit an excuse for me to run away from the problem?

oh Lord..

help me..

please you more than anyone else

2011-02-12T12:22:00.002-05:00

you know.

i'm very thankful for people in my life.

ess & steamboat with jcnorth today (:

really brightened up my day.

know new people,

got to know many people much better.

saw a backslider worshipping God during service,

wanting to rededicate his life to God :D

spent some time with my family today,

esp my elder sis! although the time was short, it's all worth it!

received the birthday card for the lgls.

thank you zixin, i know u made it. thank you for putting in effort to do it!

hahah

and i'm glad i'm much closer to feng and jo than before,

it's cool that i can share quite a lot to them (:

thank you God,

really happy!

2011-02-07T11:50:00.002-05:00

faith faith faith.

i think it's something that God wants me to remember.

to replace my fear with faith.

and without faith, God cant do much in my life (Matt 13:58)

OH LORD

i don't want to doubt.

i want to believe.

okays some of u may be wondering what is bothering me

hahahahahaha

it's DRIVING.

tian ah

i have never driven out alone before.

and i think i'm gonna try it on thurs.

OKAYS

to all the pro drivers out there,

pls don't laugh at me

2011-02-05T22:29:00.005-05:00

HAHAH

HELLO BLOGGER.

i'm secretly happy!

lazy to type everything out..

so this is from a msn convo...

" i think God is amazing

HAHAHA

like just now i was with my mum...

and i talked about church and the sermon i had yesterday.

aaha

i said stuff like "oh.. i learnt that we must love with sincerity, not just with words, but with actions, words are not enough"

then she looked quite inetrested.. "u mean u can learn stuff in church?"

HAHA

i said " yeah! hahaha always learn a lot, help me become

a better person that God wants me to be"

then she was like .." did ur sister listen to the teaching too?

hahaha i said yeah! she was beside me!

AhA

then she was like.. hmm okays..

HAHAH

I THINK.

i'm quite sure that she has an even better impression of church now,. .aahahha YAY PRAISE GOD. ahahha"

and my dad!

"like u know my dad had been smoking ever since he was 20 or sth.

so he's like a smoker for 30 years!

and along the way he tried to quit smoking twice i think

but always fail

to the point that he gave up entirely.

whenever we talkabout it.

he would be angry with us and stuff.

claiming that it's his own life.

ad we shouldnt interfere.

so we also dun really dare..

aaha

then right

when i was in canada.

my sister told me that he actually decided to quit for good!!!

like totally change of heart.

ahaa

and it's very divine.

coz my sister celebrated her bday with her church friends on the day she knew about it.

and she actually made a wish to God that she wants my dad to quit smoking.

LOL

andwhen she reached home,

she knew about that!

LOL

it's like so cool

iwas so touched that i teared a bit.

coz i was really really happy my dad decided to quit.

LOL

and right now he's still not smoking!

although i would get insecure at times.

ahahhaha

but i decided to keep praying for him

HAHAH

so i believe,

if my dad's persspective of smoking can change so much

his perspective about God can change too (:

slowly but surely.

HAHAHHAHA"

hahaha my dad sent me and my sister to somerset without saying anything! (knowing that we are going for church) TEEHEEE.

gonna watch da shi jie with my family laters!!! exciting!

2011-02-03T23:09:00.001-05:00

from stevenfurtick.com

THE REAL CHOICE.

One of the most important choices you make every day is not the choice between right and wrong. That’s important, but it’s base level.

The real choice is between good and great.

Are you going to have a good marriage or are you going to have a great marriage?
Are you going to settle for dating a good person or wait for a great person?
Are you going to raise good little boys and girls or great men and women of God?
Are you going to meet the minimum requirements at your job or are you going to set the standard with your greatness?

Unfortunately, it seems like most Christians never make the leap to that level. They stick to right and wrong, never realizing that it’s entirely possible to live a right life in a wrong way. And in turn they sacrifice the great on the altar of the good, not understanding the truth:

You could not have an affair but still have a mediocre marriage.
You could not have sex before marriage but still settle for less than God’s best when choosing the person you marry.
You could not hit your kids but fail to truly raise them.

You could be a good person, but still live a shadow of the life God intended for you.

When you scan the Bible and the people God used greatly, for many of them it was not a decision between right and wrong. But good and great.

Abraham was a good man. If he stayed home, he would have still been a good man. But he wasn’t choosing to be good. He was choosing to be great. And that’s what he became.

The same is true with Moses. David. The disciples.

On the negative side of this, you have the rich young man in Matthew 19. He had done everything right. But then Jesus upped the ante and told him to sell his possessions and follow him. Abandon the good for the great. The man couldn’t make the leap, and he went home sad.

I don’t see a lot of Christians trade in their divine destiny for things that are ridiculously evil. As Pete Wilson has said, what I see is a lot of Christians trading it in for things that are deceptively good.

The rich young man went home sad. Most of us go home satisfied.Satisfied with good. Satisfied with right.

Don’t settle for that. Start there, but don’t stay there. God has more in mind for you than good.

It’s time for us to move past good and move on to great.

2011-01-31T11:22:00.004-05:00

hahahah

i'm secretly amazed at my courage to do qt in the living room.

i dunno why i'm here actually.

most of the time i would be doing qt in my room

LOL

my dad just came home.

he saw me reading the bible..

listening to christian songs.

but he said nothing about it.

(which is very atypical of him)

he walked past me..

asked me how i'm doing.

LOL.

my dad is funny.

then went back into the room

perhaps he is in good mood today.

and when i asked my mum for empty angbaos.. told her that i needed it for lg.

she didn't complain and ask why.

but just gave it to me willingly.

even told me to use glue (and not water) to seal it. HAHAHA i love my mum

randoms

shopped with my mum for my dad's new year shirt at OG

i cant say i REALLY enjoyed my time there. coz i was really tired and my mum was SO INDECISIVE.LOL

hahhaha maybe God wants me to grow in patience.

i realised i lack patience when i'm with my family

HAHAH

but i really thank God i was there with my mum,

i dun enjoy being indecisive .

but i enjoy time spent with my mum (:

(BTW. jinger totally needs to be more patient with me!!)

anyways.

i have faith that God is slowly softening my parents' heart.

and i wanna be the salt&light in my family which directs my parents + my elder sis + brother-in-law to God. (together with my younger sis)

God,

i will do what it takes,

REALLLLYY.

just tell me what to do.

2010-12-14T12:10:00.001-05:00

you know what brings me joy? :D

Emelia(: says:
im sad because i was so stubborn insisting that only if they talk to me then i'll talk to them
HAHAHAHAHAHA
now too late )))):

shamausther (: says:
hahaaha

Emelia(: says:
left few more months only

shamausther (: says:
it's okay u'r still in the unit!
hahahaha and u can start afresh in uni group
HA

Emelia(: says:
when tranfer don't have much chance already )))L

shamausther (: says:
it's more about the attitude!

Emelia(: says:
YEAH THATS WHY
i am not gonna let this happen again
when i go to uni

shamausther (: says:
with the right attitude it doesn't matter where u are

Emelia(: says:
hahahaha

shamausther (: says:
YEAH!!!
I"M SO PROUD OF U

Emelia(: says:
i wanna try to talk to them not be stubborn and not live in my own bubble next time

EMELIALONGHUIEN, i am so happy for you, very proud of you too (:(:
God you are amazinggggg

2010-12-11T00:16:00.003-05:00

my best friends in guelph (:
thank you janice for being sucha sweet sister-in-christ, learnt much from her life, thankful that she's there to help me grow and give me advice. will remember the golden basil dinner and the 3-4 hr long talk in uc.

thank you God for shannon and samantha.
ahh i know i'm gonna miss them so much. i'm so glad our friendship doesn't remain at a superficial level, they are friends whom i can turn to for a listening ear. be it complaints, rants or just simply being there to share my joys with me (:

thank you God for the wonderful guelph experience u've given me.

2010-11-13T02:56:00.004-05:00

it's not about the music or the person playing the instrument, it's about the person for whom the song is played.

there are so many times i'm distracted by the music,
and i know even when i'm singing songs about how awesome and majestic God is,
i'm just focusing on how beautifully the music is being played.
instead of worshipping God, i worship the music.

and ~~sometimes the person who plays it~~

OUCHHH..

and God knows my every thought behind every word.
he knows whats sincere and whats not
and i know what he really wants is my heart, not my voice, not mere words.

OUCH :(

i'm sorry God,
for being so distracted during times of worship.

2010-10-19T01:04:00.003-04:00

don't try to make things happen.
i felt as if it was God correcting me.
but it's weird, coz i didnt feel condemned or what,
i felt a sense of peace.
like i finally understood abit more about myself.

.. although it's the not so spiritual aspect of myself.

i wanna trust God,
and do everything with a pure heart.

through this song, God reminded me that it's all about God,
not about myself.
"it's not about me, as if u should do things my way"

story about Sarah and Hagar reminded me so much about how we should wait upon the Lord.
and not do things our own way.

2010-10-07T22:27:00.003-04:00

hahah
everytime i bump into somebody,
the first question s/he ask would always be "how are you?"
and my ans is always the same, "good!"

HAHAHAH
sometimes i'm just too lazy to elaborate.
God's been good to me so far :D

putting many people in my life to help me along the way,

i'm learning bollywood dance with jess and carol, taking one course with amanda :D
thank God for the opportunities to get to know them better (: and have fun with them too!

i was telling janice that i have been feeling lots of joy recently. like seriously.
everything seems so good and perfect.
but i told her that this wont last long,
she looked at me with a smile and said, "with God, the joy can last!"

i was like OH YEAH AH.
ahahaha.
why am i so pessimistic, assuming that joy comes and go.
actually if i really set my heart on seeking God and stuff,
even in my down times, i can definitely still have joy in God!!
but this is the highest level man
HAHA

teehee thank God for friends in my life such as reema (: hah think we've really been through quite a lot together.made stupid mistakes such as taking the wrong bus,yay thank God!

thank God for toronto trip. with jiexun and yongsheng. lobster lunch was fabuloussss! (:walked for about 6 hrs straight i believe. but thank God the weather was good and we managed to go up to CN tower! yayness (:

thank God for acf! my first group of christian friends in guelph (:
thank God for the retreat that i've had with them.
reminded me a lot about praying, and it bonded me to a few people (:
samantha, shannon, audrey, nana, isabel and janice!!
yay thank God for her, someone whom i can share my life with, someone who prays along with me!

so yeah, going to montreal tmr! with shannon and reema, meeting jas and gang there! it's gonna be a blast! pray for a safe trip (:

shall end off with a pretty photo i took (:

taken outside sch library! it's beautiful (:

rainbow represents God's covenant with the earth (:

2010-09-16T20:25:00.002-04:00

read this from a book..

Why issit necessary for God to become human?

it's a love story (written by someone)

" i once met a girl named Kim, and i fell in love"

"I continued, "I pursued her with my love and pursued her with my love until i felt my love had captured her heart. So i asked her to be my wife, and she said no." "

"i was unrelenting and asked her again, pursuing her with my love, and I pursued her with my love until she said yes"

"I went on, "i did not send my brother, nor did i send a friend. For in issues of love, you must go yourself."

"This is the story of God: he pursues you with his love and pursues you with his love, and u have perhaps not said yes. And even if you reject his love, he pursues you ever still. It was not enough to send an angel or a prophet or any other, for in issues of love, you must go yourself. And so God has come.
This is the story of Jesus, that God has walked among us and he pursues us with his love. He is very familiar with rejection but is undeterred. And he is here even now, still pursuing you with his love."

2010-09-14T17:56:00.000-04:00

sth that i read..

Watering down God's wrath dilutes God's love.

In an effort to make the Gospel more seeker-friendly, some Christians avoid talking about God's wrath, anger, and hatred toward those who have sinned against him. By watering down the wrath of God such people cheapen and diminish the love of God.

Such a faith void of God's wrath was characterized in the early 1900s by a movement called Protestant Liberalism. In 1937, H. Richard Niebuhr, professor at Yale Divinity School, gave this description of Protestant Liberalism's theology: "A God without wrath brought men without sin into a kingdom without judgment through a Christ without a cross."

As Niebuhr pungently demonstrated, eliminating God's wrath minimizes the cross, which is the ultimate manifestation of God's love (see Romans 5:6-8).

Because God is holy, perfect, and sinless, he deserves all glory, honor, fame, praise, and exaltation. However, when we sin—and every one of us sins—we insult God's holiness. Sin is fundamentally an offense against God, and so he hates sin and punishes all who sin against him (see Psalm 78:19-21, John 3:36, Psalm 5:5, Isaiah 13:11, Psalm 7:11).

The Apostle Paul, in Romans 1:18-19, describes the ubiquity of God's wrath: "The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of human beings who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them" (see also Romans 1:18-31).

So, if we all are godless and wicked, deserving of God's wrath, how can he accept us? Does God say, "Well, at least you're making progress"? Does he grade on the curve: "You're better than average, so I guess I'll give you a passing grade"? No. God can't forgive like that because his holiness and justice demand that perfect satisfaction for sin be made.

Instead, what God does is this: He sends his son, Jesus Christ, to bear all our sins so that our sin is paid for by Christ. What an amazing act that the very one who you hated, scorned, reviled, and scoffed at is the same one who took upon himself the death penalty you deserved, and because all your sins are placed on him God declares you righteous. That's good news!

If you don't realize that the bad news is that you, because of your sin, are an enemy of God who deserves the death penalty, then you won't realize the full magnificence of God's love for you expressed through Christ suffering the death you deserved. Because the bad news is worse than you think it is, the good news is better than you think it is.

true.

2010-09-07T00:03:00.002-04:00

hahaha hello!
okay i think i should update a bit more about my life..
but anywyas.
still the same
God has been good to me (: giving me new friends, helping me enjoying my stay here.
sch's gonna start.. i'm quite excited to know how lessons are like.
BUT i dun wanna start writing essays again!!

went for some christian talk today.
and i had worship.
and yess! i understood what it meant by the verse "one day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere"
ahah
yes,.
the past few days were great, but nothing compared to today.
coz i was in God's house and had the chance to worship God with my voice :D

anyways.
something i learnt from a book today...

2 tim 2:22Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

"to flee from temptation means to immediately turn and run - not walk- as fast and as far as u can in the opposite direction. we cannot wait passively for sin to find us and then expect God to provide a way out at the very last minute"

somehow,
the part about running away and not passively waiting struck me.

2010-09-04T10:43:00.001-04:00

(from rbc.org)
Botox For The Soul

Read: Ephesians 4:17-24
Put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness. —Ephesians 4:24

Got Botox? A lot of people do. Some take Botox treatments for health matters, but many take them because they want to look young again.

Appearance is so important to some Botox users that they allow themselves to be injected with botulinum toxin type A so that their wrinkles will disappear for a while. Later, the treatment must be administered again.

Botox is expensive, and it comes with possible negative side effects. But that doesn’t stop people from giving it a try so they can look better.

Of course, looking good is not a bad thing, but a more important consideration is how we look on the inside. How much are we willing to sacrifice to have beautiful character? (this question really really struck me a lot!)

Are we willing to take some “Botox for the soul”—to inject ourselves with the kind of loving gentleness, merciful patience, caring interest in others, unselfish kindness, and unity of spirit that can beautify our lives? (Eph. 4:2-3). Are we willing to keep coming back to God for help in getting the spiritual character enhancement we need?

Looking for ways to look good? Search the Bible for character-building verses. Then through prayer and the Spirit’s empowering, inject the godly traits of those verses into your life. The side effects are all good.

Think not alone of outward form; Its beauty will depart; But cultivate the Spirit’s fruits That grow within the heart. —D. De Haan

Godly character is the best beauty treatment in the world.

more than outward appearance, it's the character.

JS - Thank you - The Katinas (cover)

2010-09-02T06:23:00.003-04:00

i haven't updated my blog in a longgg time..
and just to let u know!
i'm already in Canada, and settling down quite well i guess.
by God's grace i'm still healthy and i managed to get most of the things done..
like phone and stuff (:

orientation later! hope to know more people yo (: don't know what to say.

shall end off with a songggg!

thank you God (:(:
for pulling me through my difficulties, giving me obstacles and helping me overcome,growing me in resilience, perseverence and dependence on God.. more breakthroughs to come!!!

thank you jcna4
for scrapbook and farewell dinner(:(:

thank you jcnorth lgls
for scrapboook!! love it!!

thank you my family
for showing me care and concern, doing small/big things for me (:

thank you jontay,zhiwei, huiqi,ens,caleb, debbie
for the song, 1234. will always rmember it (:

thank you all you who showed me lovee in one way or another (:
you know who you are!!!

thank you sheep!
all u who blessed me with farewell gifts (: loveeee <3

2010-08-19T10:29:00.002-04:00

aweeesome random meet up with winnie cheng today! learnt much from her (:

think God really bless me with "random" friends who appear just at the right time.
just like how winnie appeared when i was alone without a lunch buddy. teehee

oh and how God sent debbie and huiqi to walk with me to my bus stop.
okay they didn't really walk me there, but they just appeardd out of nowhere and i was really happy to see them coz i kinda hate walking alone.TEEHEE.

mummy and jie accompanied me to OG to buy luggage just now, i felt loved too! :D

thank you guys,
i will have a good trip, by God's grace! but pls pray that God's presence would be evident in my life. thank you very much. LOL.

2010-08-12T13:26:00.004-04:00

my latest conviction:
don't let my love for people be determined by how "spiritual/unspiritual" they appear to be.

because God is love, whoever does not love does not know God.
and i love because God first loved me, a sinner.

talking to zixin always helps me discover more about myself.
thank God i did today,

the topic revolves around love.
more love.

and belief
believe in people.

2010-08-11T04:05:00.002-04:00

spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

how we always DESIRE to do sth,
but we end up not doing it,
becoz it's hard to overcome...

things like laziness.

stop ignoring people, tan limin.

i like this story!!

2010-08-03T13:32:00.002-04:00

Susie trusted her father with her pearls. At the age of 6 her most treasured possession was a string of pearls. The fact that they were fake didn't bother her. She wore them everywhere and played with them everyday. She loved the pearls.

She also loved her daddy. His business often took him away for days at a time. The first day home would always be one of celebration. As an adult Susie can still remember the time he spent a week in the Orient. When he finally returned, the daddy and daughter played all afternoon. As he put her to bed, he asked this question, "do you love me?"

"Yes,Daddy. I love you more than anything."

"More than anything?"

"More than anything."

He paused for a moment. "More than the pearls? Would you give me your pearls?"

"Oh,Daddy," she replied. "I couldn't do that. I love my pearls."

"I understand," he told her and kissed her good-night.

As she fell asleep, she thought about his request. When she awoke, she thought about it some more. It was on her mind that morning and later in the day. Finally, that night, she went to him with her pearls. "Daddy, I love you more than these. Here, you take them."

"I'm so glad to hear that," he said, standing and opening his case.
"I brought you a gift."

She opened the small flat box and gasped. Pearls. Genuine pearls.

You suppose your Father wants to give you some as well? He offers authentic love. His devotion is the real deal. But he won't give you the genuine until you surrender the imitations.

What "pearls" is he hoping you'll release?

i can imagine the child-likeness Susie displays as she decides to give her daddy the pearls because she wants to show that she truly loves her daddy more than anything else.

and i wanna learn this from her.
the willingness to let go and let God.

i wanna love God more than anything else in the world!
and show it with my actions (:

2010-07-29T14:16:00.003-04:00

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.

Heb 6:10

application points:

pray.
not just for my people, but for my own heart.for passion.for burden.for anointing. prayer walk

plan.
for my lg, sheep's growth (I NEED U GUYS TO KEEP ME ACCOUNTABLE)

outreach
to the contacts i gathered today.

love
live a life of love.

thank God that i got to spend time with jontay, maisie and joel today. i am a super quality time person. HAHA
wanna thank MAISIE for doing surveys with me (: it was kinda weird for both of us but we persevered. thank God for your willingness and faithfulness. i love you girl, always feel very refreshed after talking to you. :D hahaha tempted to break fast at 5 plus, but u told me this, "since u set a time alr, you should stick to it" YEAH u're right, thanks sister! :D

joel sent me A LOT of materials,
abit overwhelmed now.
becoz much is given, much is expected.
really pray that i will not waste anything and use them all effectively (God, i need you in this)
thanks friend!

and jontay..
was LATE. and refused to send me to green line mrt.
HAHAHA.
yeah but i wasn't bitter lah. i how nice.
we didn't have a super long talk, but he kinda reminded me of the importance of passion.
thanks friend (:

and yes..
thank you EMELIA, my dear sheep, who came online to discuss teaching with me. u have 5 tests tmr and u didn't complain, decided to use ur time for God,i'm really encouraged. jiayou sheep!! :D

more and more learnings.
i need time to absorb and reflect, but thank you friends and thank you God for putting people in my life to spur me on in this race (:

tired, gonna sleep!
tmr will be a new day with God (:

2010-07-28T01:27:00.002-04:00

random but..

i wanna lead my life such that i don't dishonour my future partner in any way!
in the way i relate to opposite gender.

anyways,

kboxing with sar (hopefully), dance class and supper!! thank you God for the company!

2010-07-26T12:42:00.007-04:00

i shouldn't have taken that path.
haha

it wasn't a clear path...it was a grass patch.
it was a shortcut.

and crap.
i totally regretted that decision after stepping on the muddy grounds.

i should have taken the other path.
although it's a longer route,
the ground was concrete.
haha
it was a clearly defined path for pedestrians

haha when i was at the crossroads,
i contemplated both options.
initially i wanted the clear path.
then i saw this person in front of me taking the shortcut.
i thought to myself..
"maybe i should follow her... afterall it's a shorter route"

hahaha.

yeah.. and i ended up getting nagged at by my mum for dirtying the toilet.
coz i had to wash my slippers.
ahaha.
the distance may be shorter, but it's so not worth it.
considering the consequences.

ahhaa
then i tried to spiritualise things and thought of this verse.

Prov 14:12 There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.

Matthew 7:13 "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.

haha so impt to live according to God's word.
God's ways may take longer.
may be more tedious and challenging.
but we should persevere in it knowing that it will ultimately work out for our good.
other routes may be shorter..easier...
but..we must never fall into the trap of thinking that these benefit us more than God's ways.
becoz there are repercussions and consequences to every decision we make.

yup,
so i want to make the right choices everyday!
i don't want to waste my life making decisions that God doesn't want me to make,
end up wasting time on things that God doesn't plan for me to do.

2010-07-22T04:52:00.004-04:00

beautiful verse

Isaiah 40:31

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

this was the verse i randomly read just before i started worshipping God.

and what struck me the most was the first two lines.

God says that those who hope in the Lord will definitely renew their strength.
so if i feel lethargic spiritually,
the reason is becoz i've lost hope.

as much as i hate to admit,
i know a part of me has started to lose hope in people and in God.
in the possibility of things improving.

and yeah.
Hope is so important.
if there's no hope, it's hard for God to renew my strength.

yeah thank God for the rhema word.

found this video on shanrui's blog. it's a long vid but i thank God i managed to finish it.
sammi cheng sharing about how God changed her life, from the inside out.

i was very touched by her story.
really reminded me that serving God is not meant to be an obligation.
it's a calling.
it's what gives us a purposeful life. and God created us, he knows what we are created to do.

shes like so spiritual please.
what i really admire about her is that she's willing to be open with her past hurts and depression,
because she's found security in God and all that she wants now is for God to use her life to bring people nearer to God. fame and achievements don't seem that important anymore.
and her conviction in the importance of prayer.
i think she repeated that at least 5 times in the video, and it warms my heart to see her relying on God's grace. her joy in outreaching. in her own ways (releasing christian album and publishing a book that talks about her life)
she doesn't need a leader to push her to outreach, the desire to make God known just comes so naturally in her becoz she knows how awesome God is in her life.

and God is really a very loving God.
pick us up when we fall
restore us and heal our hurts
most importantly,
he gives us a brand new start

outreach must never become a "my leaders want me to do it" kinda thing.
not so much about methods, but it's about the heart.
the actions of outreaching must flow from a heart of love for/from God. :D

God, you're wonderful.

2010-07-20T00:03:00.002-04:00

Jeremiah 12:5
"If you have raced with men on foot
and they have worn you out,
how can you compete with horses?
If you stumble in safe country,
how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?"

"if you think this is bad, how are you going to cope when it gets really tough?"

i believe everything happens for a reason.
told a few people that i'm not gonna live by what i see or feel.
but it's really easier said than done.
i kno that i really really need God...

whatever it is,
i'm not gonna give up on my group.

i still believe we can be bonded.
we can be close to one another and at the same time, close to God.
it's just the timing.
when does God want it to happen.

come on,
don't give up.

i'm really gg to canada soon,
i cant believe it.
feels so surreal.

gonna let go of wanting to be in control,
i don't need to be the "last" leader whom God uses to build the group strong.. or so called stablise the group.
even when i'm gone,
God is still present,
helping zixin or whoever lead the group.
but what i really want,
is to continue to be faithful to God.
i don't need to see the results before i can be faithful.
and I trust God for his perfect timing,

i may not be the "last" link, but i don't want to be the missing link!!

2010-07-18T04:58:00.003-04:00

i don't want it to be a monthly thing.
yeah i really feel like complaining
but i know it'll lead to nowhere.
and it would just make me feel like i'm the most pitiful person in the world.

let there be a breakthroughhhhhhhh

2010-07-13T12:36:00.002-04:00

correction.

thank you ens and God,
i will humbly accept it (: (hopefully)

DEVOTION to my lg(s).

i will.

humble

2010-07-08T12:32:00.011-04:00

was talking to a friend on msn few nights ago,
and what he said kinda gave me a new perspective on humility before God.

what is humility?
knowing that the giver of all things is God.
whatever i have,
my talents, money, whatever strengths i have are from God, not from myself.
and we acknowledge that God gives us the strength to do many things
just like whats quoted in Phil 4:13
"i can do all things through Christ who gives me strength"

But, we need to look at this verse within the context
which are verses 11 and 12

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹²I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

we need to learn how to be content in God.

knowing that God has the best for us,
no matter how cui things may be,
bad results, broken relationships.
we still trust in God.
and we continue to give our best to God.

if we're not content in God,
we can never be humble before God.

becoz we'll always be comparing..
with others or with our own expectations.
and when our circumstances are not we want,
we'll most probably start to blame God?
subconsciously/consciously/unconsciously.

with a bit of rationalisations and all,
we may decide that giving our best to God is not that worthwhile afterall.
and we'll begin to go our way.

and this is dangerous!!

it's so easy to compromise even more once u start to do that.

so in order to be humble,
lets learn how to be content (:

my all time favourite bible verse

Prov 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

the essence of humility!!!

xuanting told me this,
"do u want to pass in ur sch exams, but fail in God's tests? even if u study very hard for exams, u may or may not get ur As, but for God, it's a sure win situation. u just need to be faithful, no matter what outcome u have, God will work it out for good, this is how good God is. but if we decide to compromise on God and focus on our studies only, in a way we're shortchanging ourselves, becoz it's not sure win.. and even if we get good results, so what? we may have lost our purpose in God, and this impt relationship with God. look at it from the eternal perspective, izzit really worth it? how long will ur results last?"

okay i think i added some parts on my own.
but yeah true.

okay,
ah
i wanna be intentional in discipleship!!

2010-07-06T23:03:00.006-04:00

yay so i'm gonna blog about NATALIE'S BIRTHDAY!
my pretty sheep's birthday was on 5 july,monday.
the lg went down to surprise her!

waiting at void deck..

u know.
i was really glad that the whole group came down.
it was a HOLIDAY,
not everyone lives near her but they made the effort to go down.
xianghui wasn't even close to nat!
i was genuinely sincerely HAPPY.
it's a breakthrough and i will remember it!
step by step,
i will do my best to lead them towards giving God their all (:

and yay,
although i had to buy the present
which made me walk SUPER A LOT.
it's still worth it.

i believe this is love! like u dun mind sacrificing your time and stuff, becoz all you want is for your sheep to say,
"i like it!"
it made all the effort worthwhile.

the first verse i saw today,

"So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them." Gen 50:21

felt so lovedddd by God after reading it (:
like yay,
God reassuring me that i don't have to be afraid of testings and trials.
God will provide me with what i need to overcome.
and not just me,
but also my people!

woots!

2010-07-05T13:36:00.003-04:00

a powerful reminder from my study bible

"As in Jeremiah's day, people today dislike God's demand for disciplined living. As unsettling as people's responses might be, we must continue to share God's word. Our responsibility is to present God's word, their responsibility is to accept it. WE MUST NOT LET WHAT PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR DETERMINE WHAT WE SAY"

i believe this is also an aspect of righteous leadership.

do everything out of love.
and never bring down God's standards!

easier said than done, oh man need you a lot, God!

2010-07-04T08:44:00.004-04:00

chatted with grace ong over msn..and she told me a few things..

"i remembered what a chapel speaker has said "if my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad."

"Did I want what I wanted, or did I want what He wanted, no matter what it might cost?"

not what i want,
but what you want.

guard heart, guard mind.

anyways
i was very touched by edwin yesterday.
okay for those who don't know him
he's my lg member (and 3 years younger than me, so dont think too much)
i told my lg over dinner that some random person had been pressing our doorbell.. and it was really freaking me (and my family) out.. what freaked me out the most was when my mum told me that somebody pressed the bell like FEW MINUTES after i left house.
how scary is that!!
anyways .. so thats the background.
i stayed back after service.. watched soccer with my unit, daohuay.. so went home kinda late
when i was dao-huaying, edwin smsed me to ask me if i was alr at home..and wanted me to let him know when i'm gg home.
i sincerely thought that he asked me that becoz he wanted to tell me sth important..
mayb his problems or sth..
so i went home thinking that i need to prepare myself to listen to him (HAHAHA)

guess what
i reached home,smsed him "i'm home"

he replied, ":) glad you are safe at home! :D just wanted to make sure you're safe"..
" cause you mention that u were being stalked ma, and its alr so late. haha"

i was really taken aback when he told me that.
like what,
(not judging the rest of my lg)
he was the only one who smsed me after i told my whole lg about it, and i really didn't expect it coming.

but thank you dude! ((:
i believe God really used you to show me what it means to care for people (:

2010-07-02T13:26:00.004-04:00

"The LORD said to me, "Faithless Israel is more righteous than unfaithful Judah." Jer 3:11

to say the truth,
i was quite shocked when i saw that verse.
like huh? why is faithless israel more righteous than unfaithful judah?

after reading my study bible,
the difference between israel and judah is that israel wasn't trying to look as if it was obeying God, but Judah maintained the appearance of right faith without a true heart..

that means God rather you disobey outrightly than be an hypocrite who only pay lip service.
i think the fact that he used the word righteous shows that he really abhors people who have no heart for God, but acts as if they have.

God doesn't need our sacrifices,
he wants our hearts.
our sacrifices without heartfelt commitments means nothing to God.
he doesn't want us to sacrifice without true repentance.

say what u mean and mean what u say.
let them translate into heartfelt actions.

today's lg was rather long and draggy.
but i'm thankful that majority shared about their lives.
okay i was quite open with my life,
i trust that they wont blackmail me.

and..
i don't know what to feel about some people.
oh wells.
disappointment i guess.

give my best to God,
jcna4, keep me accountable (:

OH ..
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to 2 of my dear friends,
Steph and Jontay (:

Belated birthday to Debbie, Huiqi, Chia, Lydiapoo, Huijuan (:

basically all the june babies.
i'm so sorry,
i'm bad at remembering birthdays.
i rely a lot on fb
and sometimes i would still miss it even though i check fb everyday

2010-06-28T12:46:00.003-04:00

hahaha

i spent few minutes of my life thinking about how nice you're.

but...

oh man.

2010-06-27T13:41:00.003-04:00

before i go to sleep..

shall post a random sms convo i just had with guozhang..
the gist of it was..

me: all the best for exams!

guozhang: i don't have exams!

me: how come you dun have??? i saw u studying at smu!

gz: NO BLOCK TEST THEN NO NEED TO STUDY FOR ALEVELS AH???

HAHAHA
when i read his reply,
i was like YEAH HOR.
hahaha
quite funny

okay,
time for bed!!
a longggggg day tmr!

2010-06-23T13:26:00.004-04:00

- unlearn -

i used to think God is always pleased when we do things for him (the things that we want to do for him)
i used to feel guilty for not serving God in the ways that i want to.
i used to think it's not pleasing to God when i decline any requests made by anybody in church.
as a result.
i do and serve, do and serve.
hardly have time for myself

i guess i was quite a religious person even though i claim to have a personal relationship with God.i know it's not about dos and don'ts.
yet i unconsciously/subconsciously focused more on "works" instead of "heart"

today i learnt that Matthew 11:28 is for people who suffer from spiritual burn out.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

(MSG)
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

don't replace seeking God with working for him
"God wants us to do kingdom works, which are things he LEADS us to do; but he does not want us to be busy in religious activity, thinking he is pleased with our sacrifices which he did not ask us to make. How can people do the works of God if they have not taken time to hear from God that they should do them?" - joyce mayer

i learnt that i can say NO to people. AND i don't have to feel guilty about it!!!
becoz what people want me to do may not be what God wants me to do.
i should not feel guilty for wanting personal space because i need to be alone, slow down, take time out to listen to God, and wait for his leading.

hahaha the verse reminds me that it can be easy to serve God if we learn to hear FROM him before we struggle to do things FOR him that he never asked us to do"
if it's something that God wants me to do,
he will empower me.

2010-06-20T13:29:00.004-04:00

romans 4:3b "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness"

hahaha this verse reminds me that righteousness in God is not so much about how "pure" we are before God. after all, we're sinners and our inclination to sin will not disappear.

what makes us righteous is our belief in God. aka faith in God.

i don't want to do so much without truly putting my faith in God.
i want to do everything with the knowledge that GOD IS BACKING ME UP.
hahahaha God is backing me up God is backing me up.

i don't have to be the best lgl,
but i need to be my best.
do the best that i can to bless people.

i want to believe in God.
believe in his power.his character.his faithfulness.

to empower
be open.
be courageous
the process, not results.

2010-06-15T06:11:00.005-04:00

i almost lied to my dad, (or withheld the truth)
God spoke to me through 林宥嘉's song-說謊

this exact line!

我没有说谎我何必说谎

it was playing on the radio.

okay cool, so in the end i didn't HHAHAHHAHA

2010-06-13T13:35:00.003-04:00

give out of love

LOVE
something that God truly values.
so i must value it too.

2010-06-11T12:48:00.004-04:00

The fight to have complete assurance that something will work. You and I will NEVER know the outcome until we are willing to take the step of faith that God has led us to take. If you wait to have 100% assurance that something will work…then I am 100% sure you will never attempt anything great for God. For example…nowhere in the Scriptures does it say that God gave David 100% assurance that he was going to be successful in his bout with Goliath…he just simply took a step of faith and the rest is history. What step of faith is He leading you to?

Here is a test to see if your mission on earth is finished: If you are alive, it isn't."
yeah so God is not done with me yo!

diligence,
spirit of excellence.

"Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. ¹⁶Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers." - 1 tim 4:15-16

i'm really thankful for leaders who watch over my life.
thank God for zixin who listens to me
ahaha and for tolerating my disorganised thoughts.
thanks for helping me sort out my thoughts
and let me know whats wise and whats unwise.
and wooots. i thank God i'm being more and more open with you.and i don't feel weird sharing certain things with u.
thanks for not judging me HAHAHAHA.

thank you shep :D
u're really somebody whom i wanna build PURE and BIBLICAL friendship with! hahaa not just as a sheep.

2010-06-10T13:48:00.003-04:00

step by step,
little by little.

i have lots to learn.
and lots to unlearn.

my group needs to bond so much more.

but i realised i must be patient.

i'm talking about real human beings with real feelings, problems and issues, not robots.

okay can.
i will do my best.

2010-06-02T13:43:00.003-04:00

introducing my beautiful sheep, carol!

i really love the shepherding i had with carol today.
thank God for changing her heart and helping her grow.
i felt so touched when she did so much just to meet up with me
that includes rushing through her household chores so that she can leave house early
she even initiated a meet up next week!!!!!! (YAY)

when she shared with me what she learnt from mila (which is the wfl teaching she missed)
i could see her childlikeness.
her joy in learning so much more about God.
God's way of handling some areas in our lives.
i'm really glad that she's determined to apply.

and i see her desire to truly want to focus on God now.

you cant imagine how happy i was.

she asked me why i was smiling so widely while she was sharing,
i said it was because i'm amazed at how much she's matured in God.

she used to be someone who wouldn't make any effort to meet me
never bothers to account anything to me
never really willing to share problems with me.
but now,
she's someone who's willing to make time for me,
to accommodate me.
and enthusiastic about learning and sharing her learnings with me

and she said sth that almost made me tear
the gist of it was this..

"God spoke to me during prophetic night. When we were praying for our leaders, God told me that i have been a very bad sheep. i didn't care much about you . Actually in the past i knew that as a sheep i should make effort, but it was all in the mind. Right now, i really want to change."

you have no idea how these words made tears well up in my eyes.
i could imagine God telling me that...

whatever I've invested in her is worthwhile.
all the sacrifices, the time, the inconveniences, the home visits
all the pain, all the fears, all the heartaches.all the worries.all my struggles. God knows. and he doesn't ignore them. he makes things work out in his own timing :D

at times when we feel so incapable of helping people grow in God, remember we're only vessels used by God,
ultimately, God is the one who makes people grow (:(: and all we have to do is to persevere and let God do his work through our lives (:

2010-06-01T12:25:00.005-04:00

a short story..

The Barber Who Believed That God Doesnt Exist:

A man went to a barber shop to have his hair and his beard cut as always. He started to have a good conversation with the barber who attended him. They talked about so many things and various

subjects.

Suddenly, they touched the subject of God. The barber said:

"Look man, I don't believe that God exists as you say so."

"Why do you say that?" - Asked the client.

Well, it's so easy, you just have to go out in the street to

realize that God does not exist. Oh, tell me, if God existed,

would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned

children? If God existed, there would be no suffering nor pain.

I can't think of a God who permits all of these things."

The client stopped for a moment thinking but he didn't want to

respond so as to prevent an argument. The barber finished his job

and the client went out of the shop.

Just after he left the barber shop he saw a man in the street with a long hair and beard (it seems that it had been a long time since he had his cut and he

looked so untidy). Then the client again entered the barber shop and

he said to the barber:know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How come they don't exist?"-asked the barber. "Well I am here and I

am a barber."

"No!" - the client exclaimed. "They don't exist because if they did

there would be no people with long hair and beard like that man who

walks in the street."

"Ah, barbers do exist, what happens is that people do not come to me."

"Exactly!"- affirmed the client. "That's the point. God does exist,

what happens is people don't go to Him and do not look for Him that's

why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

had a random convo with grace and she totally reminded me that i need to move on from intention to ACTIONS!!!

GRACE (: says:
yupp yupp!
but this is only the beginning. haha. the real work starts after the conference

come on jcna4!! lets give this lg the best that we have! becoz God loves the church, he loves and treasures this lifegroup. (:

random

i like this verse!

isaiah 54:10
Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

God may be disappointed, angry and displeased when we sin,
but no matter what happens
he will never stop loving us.

THANK YOU GOD FOR YOUR LOVE.
help me make the right decisions so that i can be righteous and pure before you!

2010-05-30T12:59:00.003-04:00

the old limin has gone, the new esther has come!

God filled me with so much joy as i worshipped him.

"do not fear, don't let anyone look down on you because you're young. God chose you to lead your people, he will strengthen you"

i think one simple yet important reminder that i got out of this conference is "GOD IS WITH ME".
and he wipes away my ugly past and gives me a brand new start (:
thank you Lord.

if i love God,
i need to be serious about discipleship.
because God is interested in disciples

hahaha.
random,
i think somebody looked cool today!
although a bit act cool. HAHAHA.

OH YES
results are out tmr.... okay
seems like everyone subscribed to the sms service except me.
i really want to enjoy my last day of camp tmr.
but..
i'm not sure if i'll be able to concentrate.
so many people are gonna talk about their results. :/

aiya,
trust God!

2010-05-27T02:52:00.004-04:00

many times i ask myself,

where is my security in God?

argh.

i don't want to be a spoilt brat,
i wanna be less lazy and more serving.

boos.
but all i do during hols is to slack and spend money.
occasionally helping my mum with housework.

work?
nothing seems to be suitable.
or am i just lazy.
goshhh.

okay i shall go ask my mum whether she needs my help now.

after that leave house,
go library
or go city square mall to rest my mind and think about life.

2010-05-25T11:31:00.002-04:00

love this song!!

esp the starting...

anyone wanna kbox sooon? =D

2010-05-23T13:33:00.007-04:00

the first thing that i did to start off my qt today was to play the song "surrender" on my guitar.

i thought i was worshipping God, but i realised i wasn't

i was simply trying to perfect my skill of playing that song so that i can play it well during lg worship.

correction from God.

i could really picture these words in my mind as i was figuring out the chords, as i was trying to get the strumming right

"don't worship God for the sake of your ministry"

i felt so guilty after that.
i realised i haven't been worshipping God with the right heart. with the heart that truly wants to seek God becoz of my love for him.

many things happened that made me think A LOT about serving God.

in my opinion...
serving God doesn't necessarily mean loving God.
but we cannot truly love God without serving God

because God says,
if you love me, feed my sheep
if you love me, obey my commands (which forms the biblical basis for the many things we do in church)
if you love me, love one another

don't follow your heart, follow God.
follow the example of Christ, who came down to earth as a servant.

although it's easy to serve out of obligation doing so much in our ministry
although it's easy to say "God, i've had enough.i don't want to do anything anymore.i just want to SLACK and enjoy life"
although it's easy to not love God/people so much anymore because of the many issues that we have to handle,
(and i'm guilty of all of the above during my valleys in my walk with God)
that doesn't make serving any less important, or any less essential to our spiritual life.
yes it's right that it's easy to let concerns/worries about ministry choke our faith in God and love for God,
but that doesn't mean serving God is detrimental to our spiritual life and that doesn't mean we shouldn't serve so hard becoz it "complicates" our faith in God. i really believe God wants us to serve to strengthen our spiritual life, not to weaken it. because it's only when we begin to serve that we are able to capture God's heart for the world, and fulfilling God's best plan in our lives.

after today,
i realised that the onus is on us to seek after God's heart, and let him remind us of the value of serving.that includes giving all our cares/complaints/disappointments/bitterness to God, daily, not let it accumulate and fester in our hearts
most importantly, depend on him for joy, strength and love for his people.

it's not easy
it's really not easy.
but God convicted my heart today that in order to maintain a right heart attitude of serving, i need to play my part to seek God everyday, so that even as i struggle, i can struggle powerfully with God's grace.

i really just want to be your friend.

a quote from "facing the giants" that i just read (really divineee, like God knows that i really need it now)
"it's okay to rest. Jesus fights when you cannot"

2010-05-22T13:42:00.002-04:00

i know deep down in my heart,
i'm still expecting a sorry from you.

HAHA

okay lah,
moving on with life..

ID2010!!!
gosh
i feel like i'm so unprepared for it.
my heart my heart.

2010-05-19T13:02:00.002-04:00

not the first time.
today i was exceptionally emotional.
perhaps this is pms.

yeah
at the end of the day,
God knows everything,
i just commit this friendship into his hands.

yup,
i pray that someday things will be normal again
like NORMAL.

learnt the importance of building meaningful friendship.
establish a strong foundation.
and of coz,
with a pure heart.

oh Lord,
i used to sacrifice for ministry without feeling the pain.
but i'm feeling it more and more.

shall go run tmr.
need to sort out my thoughts.

okay that means..
i need to sleep NOW.
nights world!