tonight has been crazy for me
actually this period.
the desire to love God and seek God
but sometimes i fail
and i fail terribly
so many times my heart's motives and desires are all wrong,
sorry God for disappointing u at times.
spirit willing but flesh weak.
something big happened at home.
and God,
i was in a shock
i didnt know what to do or say
i didnt understand why.
and maybe i still don't understand why u allowed it to happen.
it's so near.
teddy and his father have already accepted Christ, why not wait for awhile more?
but God,
i know you are sovereign
i feel the pain even though im not exactly very close to my aunt.
God,
today u totally spoke to me big time.
i did devotions wrongly so i ended up doing the 15 may one..
and the first word i see is comfort.
Lord,
just use me as a vessel to comfort them.
give me the words, teach me what to do. I truly wanna love like how you love.
picked up running recently and woah im so thankful for the important things you remind me of when I run.
as i was running today, you kept reminding me of "dun let sin entangle you, persevere and run the race"
just kept thinking about how i rlly wanna repent of all my sins, not just talk but walk the talk.
i know my heart is so deceitful
and just now when i was doing qt, decided to go back to the passage
and omg
the words totally spoke right into my heart
Hebrews 12
"Therefore,
since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us
throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.
And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
God Disciplines His Children
4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover,
we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them
for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They
disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God
disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
12 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13 “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed."
the part about discipline spoke to me so so so so so much,..
obedience and discipline is rlly not easy at times.
in fact, it can be painful
it can make me feel so insecure about myself.
but i felt so assured by God that he understands.
he knows the struggles i'm going through
he knows it's hard to commit to God certain areas of my life.
but he wants to tell me it's all worth it.
because discipline produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
then...
as i went back to 15 May devotions..
i realised the prayer is totally about running the race for God, and throwing off the sin that so easily entangles..
yes God,
i'm even more convicted.
and i feel very loved as well.
the day was pretty crazy, the night especially.
but you used a simple devotion and my run to speak so much truth into my life.
in the 2 areas that u know im concerned about.
it's late and i rlly should sleep
but rlly
thank you God for being so gentle, loving and faithful in my life.
yes hang in there, minty! 